In my work, I have come across common themes and patterning in regards to relationship issues. In this blog post, I’ll specifically address marital or long-term partnership relationships; however, many of the information is true for any type of relationship.
Relationships are a mirror
It’s important to remember that our relationships with others act as a powerful tool for growth and healing. Whether with a spouse, a friend, a sibling, a parent, or a neighbor, relationships reflect back to us like a mirror. They pinpoint what is here for us to heal.
For example, if you find yourself saying “My partner doesn’t appreciate me,” that’s a direct clue to ask yourself, “Where am I not appreciating myself?” Or, “My partner doesn’t understand me,” becomes “How am I not understanding myself?”
So, anytime there are repeated issues in the relationship, ask yourself: what is this bringing up in me? Here are some common themes and how to explore them:
- Feeling unappreciated – Where am I not appreciating myself?
- Feeling misunderstood – How am I not understanding myself?
- Feeling unworthy – In what ways do I believe myself to be unworthy?
- Feeling rejected – In what ways am I rejecting myself or parts of myself?
- Feeling unseen – What parts of myself am I not seeing?
- Feeling unloved – What parts of myself am I not loving?
- Fear of judgment, either from your partner or by people in your family/social group – In what ways am I judging myself?
And remember, no one can give you what you can’t give yourself. This is why you may start to notice themes in all of your relationships. If you feel unappreciated in your marriage, you may also feel unappreciated in your relationship with your parents or your children.
An important note: we are bringing the focus back to ourselves and where there is room for us to heal and grow. That doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t also have areas where they could heal and grow. At the end of the day, though, you can’t force your partner or anyone else to change. When you focus on healing your wounds and helping yourself grow, you can stop getting caught up in situations with people who repeatedly aggravate your wounds.
Is it a soul contract?
Sometimes, clients ask if they have a soul contract with their partner. This question often comes up if they feel stuck in the relationship, to the point that they feel they want to leave the relationship but can’t. The answer? Maybe. However, whether there is or isn’t a soul contract, there are lessons for you to learn within the space of this relationship. If there is a soul contract with their partner, then learning the lessons brings the contract to completion naturally. Soul contracts, after all, are an agreement between souls, to help each other grow!
Akashic Illumination & Relationship Challenges
When you’re experiencing relationship challenges, it can be very difficult to see and understand the lessons and healing available.
There may be a lot of social, cultural, or religious conditioning. For example, you may have been raised with the idea that it is important to stay married for life and that you are a failure if you get a divorce. This belief may be so large in your mind that seeing the situation objectively is difficult or even impossible.
There is likely a lot of ego involvement for both people in the relationship, which means that your brain wants very much to be right and for the other person to be wrong. That’s not a dynamic that’s supportive of learning. Imagine if you were in an elementary math class, and you felt wronged by your teacher who you were certain was out to hurt you. Would you listen to anything she had to teach you? No. And that’s completely understandable! When we’re full of anger, hurt, disappointment, betrayal, sadness, and loneliness, it is very hard to look at things objectively.
The Akashic Records help us to see things from a new perspective. And in the light of the Akashic Records we are able to see more clearly the patterns in our relationships and the lessons that are held within those patterns. We are able to see more clearly why we keep experiencing the same disagreements with our partner. We are able to understand why we feel the way we do. And we are able to perceive a different way forward, instead of repeating the same conflict patterns over and over again.
Want to experience a new perspective on your relationship challenges? Book an Akashic Illumination session now.
